itstartstoday

I wasn’t doing too well with my weight loss goals.  So, I decided I’m starting over.

Here goes.

Hi, my name is Melissa.  I’m 19 years old and am a freshmen in college.  I’m going to be an RN.  I’m 5 feet and 3 inches (shorty) and currently weigh 230 pounds.  I hate the words over-weight and obese, because you know what people are really thinking when they say them.  I’m lazy and easily discouraged.  Those are my biggest obstacles and they will not rule over my life anymore.  I’m not telling my family or friends that I’m actively trying to loose weight.

My Goals: To loose two pounds every two weeks.

To weigh 120 pounds in two years.

My Reasons: I want to be healthy

I don’t want to be the fat girl anymore.

Its as simple as that. 

I think I can do this now.

I’m committed.

Thanks for reading!

So, I had gotten a Wii for Christmas and was thinkin about getting the Wii Fit Plus.  Anyone have this?  Is it worth the money?  Does it work?

Lots of questions about it.

haha.

So for a couple of weeks I totally gave up.  I now weigh more than I did when I first started.  I guess I just went into a little funk or something.  I’m not as motivated as I was before.  That tends to happen to me after a week or two.  I get so excited and all pumped up and then its like… nothing.  I don’t even care.  So, I guess I’m going to have to try to figure something out.  I used the word to alot in that sentence.  lol.  Anyways, I don’t know, I read something about how alot of people tend to get to excited and go on and brag about what their doing and so people congratulate them and then its like ok well you already got all the benefits from telling everyone that you feel like you already accomplished something.  If that made any sense what so ever.  It did in the article though.  So I think thats what happened to me.  But I didn’t spend money on equipment to not use it.  I need to get motivated, but even as I write this I don’t feel like I’m actually going to do anything.  I just need to figure out how to get out of this funk and get motivated!  But I have no idea how I’m going to do that!  lol.

I didn’t get up til about 3, so I got pretty much nothing done.  I ate badly, which theres just no excuse for.

As I said in a previous post, my guinea pig, Oliver, has been sick, wouldn’t eat or drink anything today, and has been held up in his little house for a the past few days.  I went to check on him tonight and he was gone.  I’m so upset about it but I expected it would happen.  I only had him for a couple of years.  I got him in 07 for my birthday and he died in 09 a couple of weeks before my birthday.  Just seems to weird.  So I made him a little casket out of an old shoe box and it was to late to bury him, so we’re doing it in the morning.

Then I tried taking a shower and it ran for about 5 minutes and then I went to get in and the water just stopped.  We have a well so its not like it could have been turned off, but I’m so annoyed because I just worked out and I feel all sweaty and gross and I guess, I’mma just have to deal with it til the morning.

But my mother just went out there to check the pump to see if maybe an animal or something got in there and she heard something comming from the other shed where Oliver is at right now.  She said she heard a thump and then paper rattling (we have his box inside a bag so nothing gets in it) and she said she about died.  She ran into the house to get the other key, slammed the door, broke her nail tryin to open it up real quick and it was the cats sleepin in there.  She thought maybe he was still alive, freakin out in that dark little box.  I would have cried because could you imagine bein in a little box in the cold and a bag tied up real tight?  If he were alive though, it would have been some Pet Sematary stuff, cause he was as stiff as a board.  I feel awful for talkin about him like that.  I loved that little guy. 

But anyways I went to go step on the scale because today is my weigh in day and it said I gained two pounds!  Just the other day I lost one putting me at 227 and then it says 229!  Thats actually three!  So now I feel like a failure because I just started and I’m already gaining weight back!  I’m not gonna give up though.  I’ll admit I’m completely discouraged right now, and I’ve been getting little to no support from my family, they just tend to brag about eating things that I can’t.  I live with my mom and brother and those two can eat a whole farm and not gain a pound, so I guess I can get why they don’t really understand my situation.

This has just been a bad day, and I know I’m having my own little pity party.  I don’t mean to complain so much.

On the brighter side though, I’ve been drinking more water and less soda.  Been looking online for some healthy recipes but have really found nothing.  My family and I aren’t real big on adding our own spices and herbs but the way it looks I’m just gonna have to get over it,  and ask my mom to stretch our budget a little thinner so we can get these things.  I didn’t think they were all that much but she says other wise.

Anyways I’mma have a busy day tomorrow.  I have about 20 Journal Essays to write for english and a homework assignment to do for the same class.  Which is odd because we never have homework in that class and she knows we all pushed those Journal Essays off til the last minute.  Maybe thats why she did it.  College is tough, but hopefully I can keep up.  I’mma try to really work out tomorrow and then weigh in again and see what the scales say.  I’m hoping their on my side!

Bleh.

I’mma lay in bed and watch Shrek and try to sleep.  Hopefully I won’t sleep til 3 in the afternoon again, because alarm clock just don’t work for me on the weekends.

I noticed I’ve been doin a lot of hopin lately.  lol.

Nighty night everyone!

Melissa.

So I just ordered this eyetoy kinetic that hooks up to your playstation 2.  It looks like alot of fun and very challenging!  I can’t wait for it to come in the mail.  I got a really good deal on it, almost too good to believe, so we’ll see.  I’m a little worried about that.  Has anyone else used this or even heard of it?  I know it came out awhile ago but I haven’t heard about it til now.

So once again I checked the scale and lost a pound.  Not as good as the four pounds last week, but a pound is a pound and I’m happy either way.  I still have til Sunday though, so wish me luck! lol.  I might not get to much done tomorrow though because we’re having a yard sale and have about 20 essay questions to do before Monday.  I’m not gonna let all that slow me down though.

I started writing everything I eat down in a little notebook.  Its make me alot more aware of what I eat or drink which is alot more helpful than I thought it would be.  Anyways off to go work out!

Melissa.

So because of my awful time management skills, I didn’t exercise today.  The time I usually get it done at, I noticed my guinea pig, Oliver, hasn’t been doing well.  I’m big on pets and believe their not much different than children, that being said, I noticed over the past few days he hadn’t been eating or drinking anything, and that hes lost alot of weight.  It worried me so I decided to clean his cage, thinking that might be the problem. Well, I realized that I had been using pine bedding, which is a big no no for guinea pigs because the perfume in the wood is toxic to them. Sooo yea, I was kinda sorta freaking out. Had to race to walmart to get different bedding and some treats for him, then come home clean everything and give him a bath and blah blah blah.  He wasn’t lookin so good after his bath so we’ll see…

Anyways, just thought I’d update. I made a little chart of my own for my weight lost, I think its really going to help me. Its cute and colorful. lol. anyways, I have class at 8 o’clock tomorrow or today, which ever it is. lol.

Nighty night all!

Melissa.

My first weigh in and the scales said I lost 4 pounds.  I started off at 232 and now I’m at 228.  Its not a huge difference but its a difference.  I’m feeling so good about myself right now, like I can actually do this.  haha.  I can’t wait til I can actually see a difference, but I know it won’t happen over night.

I hope everyone had a happy halloween!  I didn’t do much, just sat around a fire and roasted some marshmallows (I didn’t eat any though) lol.  Then my neighbor came over, which was sad because she didn’t take her four children trick or treating.  I felt bad for them because kids live for this kinda stuff, but what are you gonna do, ya know?   Other than that, it was pretty fun.

Anyways, I got a late start today, so I need to get moving!  lol.

Melissa.

So, as the title says today is not my weigh in day but I looked anyways.  I lost 4 pounds!  YAY!  I’m so proud of myself.  I’ve been exercising everyday and eating good, something I didn’t think I’d ever do.  Now I know I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, but I would like to bask in this little bit of glory.  lol.  My weigh in day isn’t til Sunday, so we’ll see what happens between now and then.  Anyways its like 12 in the morning here.

So nighty night everyone!

Melissa.

Unfortunately yesterday I didn’t exercise or eat good.  I didn’t get up til 2:30 in the afternoon than made some bacon, eggs and potatoes (taste so good yet its so bad for you) lol.  Then I had to helped my mother clean out her closet.  That woman is such a pack rat, we’re still not done. lol.  Then I had to write a rough draft for my english comp. class, which I had totally forgotten about.  Thankfully I got it done, though it wasn’t the best.  By the time I was in bed, it was 3 in the morning.  Thats the only thing I hate about weekends, it gets my sleeping routine all outta wack.

Today though was a little better.  I skipped out on breakfast, then I guess what you would call my lunch, my mom and I split some fries and I had some jell-0.  My eating habits are awful, I know.  I’m working on it though.  For dinner I had some baked chicken and a lil salad.  That was really good. lol.  Then a couple of hours later I did some sit ups, push ups and then something with those resistance bands.  (I still hate those things) lol.  I have to get my bike outta the shed, god only knows what kinda bugs made a home outta it. lol.

Anyways, its time for bed, I’ve got class early in the morning. lol.

Melissa.

I’m sorry but I’m probably gonna rant and rave in this post. 

We’ve all ran into those skinny little girls, who think their fat, but do they honestly feel the need to advertise it?  I’m so tired of hearing girls that wear a size 4 whining about how fat they are, and whats worse is that they want you to say something to them.  Like tell them their not or whatever.  I honestly believe that some of them do it, to bring others down.  Its like… do you see me? do you need glasses? or what? Ya know?  I know I can’t be the only one whos noticed this.  Or what makes me even madder is when you go somewhere, like costumer service and their doing whatever and peek up at you and just keep on doin what their doin but when someone, who looks different comes up, that person has their full attention.  I’m sorry I don’t like to be rude and I’m willing to stand there and patiently wait for them to acknowledge that I need help with something but when something like that happens it kills me!  I KNOW I’M NOT INVISIBLE, THERE’S TO MUCH OF ME FOR YOU NOT TO NOTICE!  lol.  

 But you know, and this may sound awful, but with people like that, I have to remind myself that I’m so much better than them.  Because I’m not rude to people, and treat them like their nothing just because they look different.  I hate that.  Like just because I’m fat doesn’t mean you have the right to treat me like dirt.  Ugh…

 On a brighter note I did ok today.  I might have eaten something I shouldn’t have, but I exercised pretty good, so I’m hoping it like cancels it out or something. lol.  I’m always open with suggestions about exercise though!  If you have something that worked pretty good then let me know! kk? lol.

Melissa.